Restless

when i was in a trance, a though suddenly pop into my mind
AM I CONFIRM TO BE AN INTERIOR DESIGNER?
omg, what's going on?
suddenly i feel like i lost my confidence to insist my future role.
C'mon...what am i thinking?*holy christ
Am I the person who is half-hearted to something that i want to do?
As parent's though to me?
No! i really want to be an interior designer.
But i don't think my college can ensure me to get a professional job in the future.
The subject i'm learning, discovering, exploring...i don't think is enough for me to be successful in my career. Like wasting time.
I know i shouldn't think like that as future is depends on ownself.Yeah!
But i feel so worry, scare, helpless.

I can't find anybody listen to me.
Lihying is off.
Thinking to call people for chat.but unwilling to let my housemate to hear it.
I wanna SCREAM!!
I want to be alone even only 30 seconds.
I want to go back home and cry in my blanket.
I want to discuss with my parents but i dun think they can considerate me.
I feel so loney now